Mercado-Tan Family
On 23 March 2009, Lin and Martha McDevitt-Pugh of the Love Exiles Foundation had the opportunity to meet the Mercado-Tan family: two moms and their twin sons who live in Pacifica, California.
Mother Shirley Tan is an asylum seeker and was scheduled to be deported to a country she hasn’t visited in more than 20 years and where she nearly lost her life at age 14 when a cousin killed her mother and sister over an inheritance.
This morning, April 23 2009, Melanie Nathan of Private Courts, who has worked tirelessly on behalf of the Tan-Mercado family, announced on her blog that Senator Dianne Feinstein has introduced a special legislative remedy in congress that will keep Shirley in the country through December 2010. She was facing leaving her home and family on 10 May 2009. Never doubt that one person can make a difference. When we met Jay and Shirley, they were angry over the mishandling of Shirley’s case by her previous lawyer. Shirley was wearing an ankle bracelet like a criminal and reporting 3 times a week to ICE. An aunt had spoken on their behalf with our good friend Molly McKay of Marriage Equality USA. Without options for legal immigration, a federal benefit that is only available to heterosexual married couples, families like Jay and Shirley’s have little recourse to the law.
Molly told us later, “I hear about cases like this every day. I couldn’t do anything to save this family. I realized I was cynical and resigned about any immediate solution. So I did one thing: I asked Melanie Nathan, who had just contacted me with the wonderful news that her partner got her green card to stay in the USA, if she could help Shirley and Jay.”
Not long afterwards Melanie introduced Shirley and Jay to Love Exiles and asked us to contact Senator Feinstein’s office on their behalf. A phone call and an email. It didn’t look promising. Immigration Equality got involved and supported Shirley’s case from Washington. The San Jose Mercury had been working on a story about love exiles and the McDevitt family. Reporter Mike Swift interviewed Jay and Shirley and included their heartbreaking story in the article, with photos by Maria Avila. The story came out in the Sunday edition on 29 March as we were leaving to return to the Netherlands. After Molly and Melanie got the ball rolling, numerous organizations stepped in to make a difference for Jay and Shirley’s family. Immigration Equality’s Legal Director Victoria Neilson and Lobbyist Julie Kruse were key and it could not have been done without them. Also involved were Out4Immigration, Marriage Equality USA, and GLAAD. Having a senator put forward a bill could never happen without these organizations taking a stand and persistently advocating for equality. But organizations cannot win us our rights on their own. It takes individuals willing to take a first step, which may be outside your comfort zone, and without any idea of what difference it will make. Molly took one step to contact Melanie. Melanie took on this case and fought like a pitbull. Jay and Shirley put their family into the public spotlight, which they did not want to do but which was the only way they stood a chance.
Each of us did one or two things that we could do. And for that moment, we gave up feeling powerlessness, stopped being resigned and cynical. We know we will wake up again tomorrow as second class citiznens in the eyes of US federal law. And all we can do is take one more step. It is the only way we will win. It’s up to us.
- Martha McDevitt-Pugh, Love Exiles Foundation, 23 April 2009
