Do Ask! Do Tell!
Amsterdam, 9 June 2009. Love exiles have been sharing stories since the UAFA hearing. A dominating theme is that we have chosen not to use fraud – pretend we are straight and marry someone of the opposite sex – but that for our good grace we are being punished. A predominate argument against UAFA, and sadly a position supported by Senator Feinstein, is that marriage fraud will increase. Read here what the result of “doing the right thing”can lead to.
“We have been in Canada since 2005 and no offense to anyone else but we still have not been able to like it here. We live in Ontario and maybe that is part of it. We like the west coast. My partner has had a couple of jobs go sour and it was clearly due to her being a lesbian. One of those jobs was with believe it or not the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation which we took to the Human Rights Tribunal.
…We had no choice but to come here. It was either here or Turkey and the latter was certainly not an option. We simply live day by day hoping that the law will change so we can return to the U.S.
Yes I am glad that I can be with my partner and I would not change my decision but I wish we did not have to be here to be together.”
In response, a love exile wrote:
“Hey all, I know exactly what you are going through. My partner of 8 years, he and I have been going through the same thing. I am in NH, and he is in Panama. We looked into all kinds of ways to bring him here permanently too. But all would not be “above board” and I don’t want to live my life like that looking over our shoulders at every turn. So we suffer with this. I travel to Panama a couple times a year on average … I have faith that things will change soon, as I refuse think otherwise. I have considered moving to Panama. That that is not as easy as it sounds.
While everyone is saying there are more important things on the Legislature’s plates right now, that is a bogus statement. Instead of policing the rest of the planet, why not take care of our own first! Think positive everyone!”
and from another:
“Wow…. I am sorry to hear about your situation… I am sick with frustration and anger at our government… My partner feels hopeful that at least people are talking about the whole debate but I am angry that the subject of gay marriage even needs to be so deeply debated in this country! How can we have gone so long without rights????!!!! I know the economy is bad and that we are at war but we need our rights NOW, because I am a suffering American! This is cruel indeed…. and the arguments against UAFA that it would create “fraudulent marriages” is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I would have taken matter into my own hands I could have my partner marry my gay cousin or just pay some guy and we wouldn’t be in this mess… but we want to do it the right way and so we must suffer, put our careers, our business, our assets in danger until voter Joe Six Pack decides if he will vote in my favor and lets me marry the person I love…. People, this is insane! I hope the decision comes soon so we can all go home! Love to all and best wishes.”
I think its pretty clear: we have proven we do not do fraud, we are in exile. And we want the right to live with the rest of our families.